Marry Me?

Call me a romantic, but I got to thinking last night about stadium proposals and how a few guys out there have asked the love of their life to marry them at a sporting event.

Now, this got me to thinking…if a guy asked me to marry him at a sporting event, what would I say?

Comparing the last (I can’t remember) bunches that popped the question to me, each time romance was taken out of the proposal.

Guy #1 sent me a letter asking me to marry him my first year in college. He asked every single day. Which means…I got a letter with a marriage proposal every single day of my freshman year in college. When he got no response, he called my father and left a message on the voicemail saying how much he loved me and wanted to marry me.

My father saved the message for me for when I returned home for summer break. I think he kept it more just for laughs.

But where does Guy #1 go all wrong? Obsessiveness…to the point of “I’m going to kill you” started making it into those letters.

Guy #1 turned into a stalker…and thus, my friends always have crazy explanations for my whereabouts when he asks them.

Guy #2 was chasing after my mother until he saw how hot her daughter was. He was only 10 years older than me, so it wasn’t that bad. But dump me 2 days before prom…and you hit my SHIT LIST for life.

While I was in college, he felt some remorse for what he had done, so he begged my mother for my phone number. My mom thought that maybe I’d forgive him and go back out with the guy.

This guy was all about BLING and showing off a hot woman at his side…blah blah blah. So imagine my surprise on Date #1 post-prom dump that he tells me that he was supposed to get married that weekend. The woman he was marrying got off the plane in Chicago, he told her that he wanted to marry someone else and put her right back on the plane out of Chicago.

And just like that he pops out the ring right after telling me that story and told me that he wanted to marry me…that he would provide for me, that I would have his babies…blah blah blah.

I’m in college to become a politician and he’s pulling this crap on me.

He tried to convince me for hours on WHY I SHOULD marry him. I never said, “NO.” I just said, “Ummm…I’ll think about it.”

I stayed over at my friend’s apartment that night and we talked it over. She couldn’t believe what I was telling her, but she knew I was making the right decision, because the next day I went to see my mom and she asked me how the date went.

I said, “He asked me to marry him.”

The happy smile she had on her face quickly turned into an ‘I’m going to kill him’ look.

My mother has never forgiven him for weasling a phone number out of her to do that to her daughter. Each time after that, he’d say he was going on a business trip to Washington, DC and would like to take her daughter out to dinner…can he have Michelle’s phone number. Trust me, my mom conveniently forgot what my phone number was every single time (especially after he got married and was still asking for it).

Trust me, hit on the mom, go after the daughter…Mom’s gonna hate you forever (worse than the daughter).

Guy #3 I was with for 4 years. He popped the question twice while we were together. He was 30 years my senior, but I knew from the beginning I didn’t want to marry him.

The first proposal was supposed to happen on Christmas…until a mutual friend of ours confessed that he had been trying to have an affair with her. Found that one out on Christmas Eve.

I opened up the gifts on Christmas Day (without him), found the ugliest looking engagement ring I’d ever seen in my life. He conveniently left the receipt in the bottom of the box and my friend (from Guy #2) went with me to RETURN THE RING the very next day (December 26).

Oh, I got a gorgeous platinum ring with pearls on it to go on my right hand.

About a month later, he came back begging to be forgiven, so I was like…alright. He picked me up and started looking at my ring finger. He said, “Where’s the ring?” I said, “I’m wearing it.”

“Where?” he asks me.

I show him the ring on my right hand, “Nice, isn’t it?”

It took him a few minutes and then he started stewing and yelled at me, “When a man gives you a ring like that…you don’t go and return it!”

That’s when I told him, “I told you that I don’t want to marry you.”

A year later, he tried again. He was trying to talk about it out in the open and he said, “You don’t know what it feels like to hear the woman you want to marry tell you that she doesn’t want to marry you.”

That’s when I let into him about all of his faults and the millions of reasons why I would never marry him…and let’s just say I called it quits 6 months later.

I made it my New Year’s resolution in 2000 (I only shared this with my friend that’s been around during all three guys) that I would get rid of Guy #3 once and for all…and I did when he went schizo on me.

6 months after the final breakup…feds raided this police lieutenant’s home because he was the mastermind behind a stolen car ring.

Can’t tell me my gut instincts haven’t been working all along…

There was ZERO romance in any of those proposals. Guy #3 and that gawdy ring…if he had done the proposal right like he expected to that Christmas…the answer would have been NO. It would have been based on the ring alone.

The ring…was yellow gold. He’d been jewelry shopping with me numerous times. He knew that I hated yellow gold. So why buy me a ring that was yellow gold?

Everything about the ring said that this man does not know me at all and that is why I was planning on saying no.

So thinking about marriage proposals at sporting events…sure I love hockey, but if a man were to try and propose to me at a sporting event…the answer would be NO, because I would feel the same as I did that Christmas when I saw that ring and realized that the man I’d been with for over 3 years didn’t know a thing about me at all.

I posed the question on Twitter last night…what woman wants to be proposed to at a sporting event? I only got one reply from a guy that told me that his ex-wife wanted him to propose to her there. No other replies from any woman in the Twitterverse.

So this is leading to a poll.

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