Day 7: Choosing a Husband

This is probably the weirdest thing I have ever been asked to do…pick a husband, develop some wild love story and repeat it 100 times on my vacation.  I can’t pick anyone famous, so carting around a picture of Jaromir Jagr doesn’t work (they may have heard of the hockey god out there).  Even revealing a pic of Ben Barnes doesn’t work either…so who can I fake a marriage with for two weeks?

You’re probably asking why in the world I would be crazy enough to do something like this.  Well, I’m heading to Morocco in a few weeks ALONE.  I hired security and a private driver, but it was highly advised that I construct a story about “my husband” so that I wouldn’t have any ‘issues’ in Morocco with the Muslim men there. 

It’s frowned upon for a woman to be out and about on her own without a male family relative.  It’s even worse if it’s a woman traveling by herself without the company of her husband.  But it’s okay if said husband had to ‘work’ and couldn’t join his wife on this vacation. 

So I have to ‘invent’ a husband.  I already have wedding bands I purchased from Tiffany & Co. a few years ago, so the rings are not the issue.  It’s finding a picture of a husband to carry around with me and act like he’s the ‘it’ thing in my life.

God…I can’t believe it has come to this.  I have to pretend like I’m married just so I can go on my dream vacation. 

It’s interesting to realize that not all are free in this world.  Women are subservient to men in certain parts of the world.  A free woman is a dangerous woman…a threat.  And thanks to the Paris Hiltons of the United States of America…men treat American women in Arab countries as whores…even when the woman is not one.

It’s hard looking at an itinerary and seeing curfews.  Well, what if I wanted to watch what happens after dark?  What if the sun sets before I can eat dinner?  What if I want to go outside of the hotel after dark?   I do that at my own risk.  After dark, I’m expected to stay in the hotel.

Then again, I may be too exhausted to go out after dark.

I will admit that the one part of my trip I can’t wait to do…but am also scared as hell to do…is spend the night in a berber tent in the Sahara desert.  I can picture the beauty of photographing the sun setting in the desert and taking pictures of camels in a caravan…but spending the night in the desert…kind of scary.

Every man I’ve spoken to about going to Morocco have all said to me…make sure you have a man with you.  Hiring security was my only safe bet.  They’re hired to sit with me in cafes and walk around with me in the souks and tourist areas.  That way if a man approaches me, security will be there to stop them from approaching me. 

That is what is so strange about visiting a Muslim country.  While I’m in London, Paris, Prague, Zug and Geneva…I don’t have those concerns.  I can sit in a pub, have a pint, watch a game with a bunch of locals and not have a damn concern in the world that anyone is trying to cause me harm.  But in Morocco…I think they would fall over and faint if I sat in a cafe watching a football match with them.  Maybe they’d even stone me.

One of my Russian friends who visited Morocco was telling me that I would love it so much…but to be careful because I’m an American woman on my own.  I told him I hired security, but he said to just be careful because the locals were bound to make problems because I’m a woman traveling alone. 

I could have booked the vacation without a tour company, but if I did…I probably would have left after a couple of days…and a dream would become a spoiled dream.  But instead, I shoveled out close to $4,000 (doesn’t include airfare) so that I could enjoy a dream.  I haven’t fainted at that number yet.  I keep reminding myself that I am doing this for me.  I paid extra for security, a private driver and private tour guides so that I could enjoy my dream vacation.

But the fact that I have to pick a husband and fake a marriage…that totally sucks ass.  Who in the world would be that crazy to come up to me while I have a security guard next to me to ask me if I’m married? 

I know it’s a precaution for my own safety…but come on…

At any rate…I leave in 11 days for London.  I’m winding down the stuff I need to get before I head out (which isn’t much).  I think I’m more shocked that I managed to fit 23 days worth of outfits in my carryon bag.  I didn’t think it was possible.  I’m packing my carryon in a bigger suitcase so that I can have an extra suitcase to put my purchases in over the next three weeks.

But I’m not really shopping for clothes the entire time (my wardrobe is overflowing already).  I’m re-decorating my apartment when I get back so I’m picking up Moroccan items for the living room, Parisian items for the kitchen, English items for the…I’ll figure that out later.

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On Friday night, I ended up adding a person to my calendar that I didn’t think I would be adding at all this season.  But a tweet from Georges Laraque asking when I’m coming up to Montreal has led to me visiting his two raw vegan restaurants in Montreal…with Georges in tow. 

The weird part of all of this…that means that Georges makes the book on the final season.  Considering I’m known to write about something in the hockey realm that is never really discussed (like poker, going green, etc.), this will be a fun take to the final season…Georges Laraque cooking it up raw vegan style for me (and maybe Winter Adams). 

I’m scheduled to be in Montreal right before Xmas with the Devils.  I can’t wait to go now that we’re doing something fun beyond hockey. 

Now, as for today, the news that I’m reading…

1.  The Devils are filing for bankruptcy according to the New York Post.  Or maybe not according to the New Jersey Devils.  INACCURATE REPORTING FROM THE NEW YORK POST, according to the Devils.  {Secretly laughing at what happens every off-season by the Post right before the season begins.  Where do they get their anonymous sources?}

 2.  Jonathan Toews bodychecks some poor kid

3.  Lokomotiv won’t play this season.  This is rather sad, but I think it is the best decision for the KHL to go this route.  I had to turn the videos off because I’ve gained 10 pounds in the last week just being so upset over this stuff. 

 

 

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