I was going to go to the Pop Up Shop this morning, but with a big trip to Canada tomorrow and lots of work to do before I leave, there was no chance.  So that leaves shopping online.

Here are a few ‘on my radar’ buys:

Pictured: Jerry Distressed Cotton-Terry Sweater, $175; Cutaway Leather Gloves, $65; Sachi pleated faux leather skirt, $160; Leather Wedge Sandals, $445; Printed Faux Leather Collar, $120.

And of course…the SHOES!  Love these…

Pictured: Two-toned Leather Sandals, $335.

I’m very excited and happy to see a more affordable line from Karl Lagerfeld.  What are your favorites from the Karl collection?

As an American, I am offended.  I am very offended. 

This day was supposed to be about the Boston Bruins.  Instead, it was all about Tim Thomas.  It was all about why Tim Thomas was missing from the White House.  It was all about Tim Thomas’ political beliefs.  It was all about Tim Thomas’ snub of President Obama.  It was all about Tim Thomas’ snub of the Office of the President of the United States.  It was all about Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim…and his political statement that wasn’t political at all…not by any means.

First, this whole mess would have been avoided if Tim released his political stance and why he was not attending PRIOR to the Bruins’ day at the White House.  We would all respect Tim’s stance and his right to not go as a free citizen of the United States of America.  We would have been okay with Tim’s absence from the White House.

BUT that’s not how things played out.  He waited several hours AFTER the snub to release his not-so but oh-so political statement on why he didn’t attend.  As most of us behind the scenes are saying, “Tim Thomas really sh*t on America with his stance.”  That is why we are offended. 

His lack of TEAM effort to just pony up and go to be there in support of his teammates…oh, that didn’t matter.  What mattered was TIM’s stance.  He really put the I in TEAM and called himself TIM. 

All would have been forgiven and okay if he had released his statement prior to the visit.  He knew he wasn’t going.  He knew he wanted to make this statement long before the visit to the White House.  Instead, he not only offended the White House, the Office of the President of the United States, but he also offended a lot of Americans and most of all Bruins fans. 

The person who said it best was Joe Haggerty from Comcast Sports.  I met Joe a few years back at the NHL Awards and have run into him over the years at various Bruins games around the world.  I trust his word when it comes to the Bruins, and what he had to say about yesterday even had Aaron Ward (former NHL player and former Bruin) in complete agreement.  This is a MUST READ: Haggerty: Thomas on his own as a White House Distraction.

I think Joe’s article summed up everything I was thinking yesterday, but added in a few more items that offended me about Thomas’ political beliefs.  Everyone’s entitled to their own religious political beliefs, but of all parties and beliefs…this one takes the cake. 

On a side note, the Boston Bruins had their day at the White House yesterday.  I guess that takes the backseat to what was supposed to be a great moment for Tim Thomas’ teammates. 

*It also wasn’t the Boston Bruins trending worldwide on Twitter yesterday…TIM THOMAS was trending worldwide all day yesterday because of his not-so but oh-so political statement.*

Keep it hockey, Timmy.  You can talk politics all you want AFTER you retire.  The only politics from any NHL player I want to read is from Jaromir Jagr’s blog…but then again, he’s not American.

For most hockey ladies, we are kind of in love with this show called “Supernatural.”  Sam and Dean…now add hottie for the last few seasons, Castiel (the fallen angel)…we are just eye candied up every winter.

I recently got my brother hooked on this show over the holidays.  While we were in Target, I saw that Season 6 had just come out on DVD.  I grabbed it, was looking at the back of the cover reading it when this Target employee walks by, stops, shrieks at the top of her lungs, “OH MY GAWD! IS THAT THE NEWEST DVD OF SUPERNATURAL?”  I replied, “Yes.”  She shrieked again, grabbed a copy and ran off with it.

My brother had no idea what this was about.  He just thought it was some chick flick.  Oh, little did he know this was the type of show that was right up our alley.  Hell, we talk about apocalypses and angels and demons all of the time.  Yeah, these are the private conversations that we have had our entire life that no one would understand but Sam and Dean themselves.

When we got to the final episode of Season Six, Castiel proclaimed himself GOD and demanded that Sam, Dean and Bobby bow before him or suffer the wrath of GOD.  And then it kind of ended.  My brother yelled, “WHAT?  This can’t be how it ends!” 

Yep…he’s a Supernatural freak now.

Well, I couldn’t wait until the next DVD, so I started watching the show online…only to find out that they killed off Castiel.  How the hell do they kill off Castiel?  I mean, HOW!?!?

So a little Googling just now and I found out Castiel is coming back!  He’ll be back in Episode 17.  Hallelujah!  Castiel LIVES! 

Because following @MishaCollins (the guy who plays Castiel) isn’t enough…I need to see him as eye candy on Supernatural…and that season when he was in 24…that was pleasant, too. 

I’m very happy to see him back on Supernatural.  I’m still laughing at that episode where the boys go into a different dimension and Sam and Dean are playing the actors that play them in the show.  They walk up to Misha Collins, thinking he’s Castiel, and start asking for help on how to get back to their dimension.  What was funny was that Misha exclaims he’s tweeting what happened!  Then he tweets it…he really tweeted it.  I started laughing hysterically, because I turned to my brother and said, “OMG!  He really did tweet that, because I remember him tweeting that months ago on Twitter!” 

Speaking of hockey and Misha…I wonder what this Boston native and former White House intern would have to say about Tim Thomas snubbing the Presidential Office today.  I don’t think his praise would be up there.

So we may or may not have a winner for the big vacation of the year.  Sure, Morocco is in the cards right now for sometime in July/August, but you know me, I country hop in Europe, too.

I’m still looking at Barcelona for the spring.  But for the summer…I’ve decided on Italy.  I decided last year that I really wanted to go around Italia, exploring the Eat part of the Eat, Pray, Love phenomenon.  I took a look at a map of Italy and started thinking…hmmm…I could do Rome in 2 days, Florence, Bologna and then Venice.  Stay in Venice a day then head to Milan, go down to Morocco for 10 days, come back to Milan, travel on down to Genoa, Pisa and then Rome.  Maybe I can squeeze Naples in there so I can get a pizza pie before heading back to the US of A.

It’s doable.  We just have to get the Morocco part of the itinerary down pat so I can start planning Italy.  I’m so excited now! 

I really can’t wait to photograph Italy. This will be an adventure within itself. 

A few hours later, I’m sitting in my doctor’s office in the worst pain I’ve ever had in my life only to hear my doctor tell me that she doesn’t advise leaving for Africa just yet.  At the least, a year.  She tells me this to drive the point across about my health.  The test results are really that bad. 

$320 of ‘uninsurable costs’ later, I realize that the pain meds don’t work.  The pain keeps getting worse.  I’m sitting in my bed at 4AM begging the cat to remove herself from my lap because I’m in so much pain, I can’t move. 

After twenty minutes, I finally make my way to the bathroom for any kind of medicine that will relieve the pain so I can go back to sleep.  I find some Tylenol Precise and rub that over the inflamed area and then try to sleep on the couch.  It relieves most of the pain for the next 45 minutes before the pain returns again.

This has been my week.  It all started with doing something so intuitively stupid that it’s accumulated in some of the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my lifetime. 

Since my surgery back in 2008, I’ve regarded raw onions as a ‘death wish.’  I don’t know why I ever thought that, because I had eaten raw onions before the surgery and was just fine.  But after the surgery, I took one look at raw onions on my salad and thought…I would have to be insane to even attempt to eat a raw onion.

Ends up my intuition wasn’t joking about that raw onion.  I thought, since it’s been 3 years since the surgery, maybe I’ll be okay.  WRONG.  The second it hit my stomach, my stomach started reeling in pain shooting through my body like an electrical storm.  By that evening, the pain had centered right behind my stomach and into the back, along the spine.  Which ironically, is the exact spot on the opposite side of my back from where I had three tumors removed in 2005. 

I’ve always talked about test results coming back in either the yellow or red categories in the past.  This incident sent it barreling straight into the red abyss. 

Lesson learned…really listen to your intuition.

Granted, the situation has probably been around for some time and was just sent over the edge with this incident.  I don’t know, but after each test they administered yesterday, I was reeling in even more pain than I was before. 

When the doctor looked at the results, she relayed onto me how dangerous the situation really was…thus, the reason why she has put a medical stopper on me heading to Africa permanently.  She’s thinking this will go another 12-18 months. 

While we sat there discussing the issues, she was getting more and more pissed at me because she didn’t think I was reacting like the ‘oh my god, this is horrible, my life is over…’ kind of stance.  Instead, I just sat there taking in the normal blah, blah, blahs I’ve been hearing for the past three years…the ‘it’s nothing new’ kind of news.  I started talking about what I was going to do next in my adventure.

Life is always divided by those who take the negative and embrace it.  There are others who just look at the positives in life and move forward.  If you focus too much on dying, you’ll miss out on living.

How we perceive this lifetime also determines how we’ll live.  Sure, I could sit there and start crying because I’m in the red zone again.  I’ve sat there and cried in an examination room before.  Or, I could just say…whatever…there’s nothing new about this…just give me my prescription and I’ll go.

Imagine my surprise that no pain medication worked.  You know what did work?  Tai chi and meditation.  It worked so quickly…I began to wonder if all of the issues plaguing my body are actually a result of environmental stressors? 

I imagined that pain in my body to be a ball of pain, and I pushed that negative energy out of my body and into the universe as love.  I did this same movement three to four times and then centered again.  I opened my eyes and realized that 75% of the pain was gone.  What was left were just a few aches that could be cured with a small dose of ibuprofen. 

And here I was looking at this expensive ass bottle of medicine seeing that it could really damage my stomach, but if it would stop the pain, I’d take it….only to find out that for FREE, I could have just done some basic meditative tai chi and released that horrific pain from my body.

I guess there is truth to the saying that the best things in life are for free, while everything else, you have to pay for.

Believe it or not, I look at all of this as a lesson.  Here’s why…

Last week, I saw a package come in for my neighbor.  I thought I would be nice and take it up to him and leave it at his door.  I didn’t tell him that I did it.  I was just doing it out of kindness since he’s come over before to fix a lot of things in my apartment.

Last night, I came home and found a large, heavy box in front of my door.  It was the supplies I ordered for the photos.  In my condition, there was no way I could have brought that package upstairs on my own.  One of my neighbors had repaid that same kindness that I had bestowed to one of my neighbors.  All I had to do was just push the box into my apartment.

The lesson learned is that when you do an act of kindness, wanting nothing in return, you’ll find that kindness is returned when you need it the most. 

It also shows that remembering to remain positive, even when the dire of situations is placed before you can determine how you are living.  You can either live for death or live to live.  That’s why I travel all of the time.  There’s a lot of things I want to see and do before this body craps out on me.  I actually don’t tell my doctors that I’m traveling, because they would forbid me from doing so.  This last big trip through Europe and Africa…I was actually ill through most of it.  The worst days were in Paris and Zug.  I wasn’t able to get out and explore the area like I wanted to.  I ended up sick in bed the day I was supposed to visit the Eiffel Tower and L’Arche de Triomphe.  I headed to Zug the next day and just crashed in bed at the hotel the second I got there and only got up to go to the arena.  I spent one afternoon looking around, but that just ended up making things worse, so I headed back and slept it off.

In Morocco…I was sick, but acting like I wasn’t. 

There are good days and bad days.  When it’s bad, it’s bad.  Good days are the days I can get out of bed.  This week though, I took one look in the mirror and saw the color had left my face.  I was waking up in the middle of the night, sweating…and it’s the middle of winter.  Pain isn’t supposed to be like this.

I live like I don’t have a tomorrow.  I’ve had this drilled into my head for the last 7 years, since I was first diagnosed with cancer.  Then I was reminded again 3 years ago when I was told it returned and in a bad way.  Then I was reminded yesterday…you have to do what you’ve set out to do. 

Remaining positive, meditation, more yoga…those are my current prescriptions.  Doing acts of kindness towards others…that is also my main focus.  My horoscopes keep saying that I need to learn to start relying on other people right now, because I can’t do everything on my own anymore.

I thought about that this morning when it took me 20 minutes to get out of bed.  I kept thinking that I really needed a nurse or someone there to stand in front of me, push the cat off of me, and help me stand up.  I’ve known that this day was approaching.  I was warned about it happening after I had the first surgery.  You’re always preparing for that day, but when that day finally arrives, you can’t help but think how unprepared you are. 

I’ll need someone around for those bad days.  I kept thinking this morning…what I wouldn’t give to be laying out in the sand dunes right now, letting the Sahara ease my pain.  Hell, what I wouldn’t give to push someone out of bed and tell him to help me.  Instead, I was left in tears this morning, trying to convince the cat that she needed to remove herself from my lap because I couldn’t do it myself, feeling the pain sharpen and twist up and down my body, and trying not to scream because it hurt so bad.  It’s kind of sad that one of the reasons for wanting to get married is for these moments when I need to rely on someone else to help me.

Learning how defenseless you can be, you leave your pride at the door.  For someone who is so independent and strong, this time around I can’t do this on my own.  It’s different.  And one thing I’m learning is to ask for help when I need it…to do acts of kindness when I don’t need help…and maybe the universe will answer my prayers knowing when I really need help so I don’t have to ask for it.

On the train, I’ve had to tell people not to touch me because it’s like I can feel the weight of their body on me…and it’s too much for me to bear anymore.  I think that’s my life in a nutshell. 

I’ve spent these past few days trying to practice going back into past lifetimes to understand why the doctors can’t accurately diagnose what’s wrong with my body.  The things my past has shown me are all points where I’ve taken on endeavours to help those who can’t help themselves.  I’ve shouldered their weight…stood up to the injustices to protect the weak…and carried the world upon my shoulders.  Each doorway showed that characteristic in me…which is exactly who I am today.  I think this lifetime is the accumulation of all of those burdens that belong to others.  It’s proving  that I can’t carry anymore of the weight.  There is a tipping point where I’m about to crumble beneath its weight. 

This lifetime was meant to release it all and let people fight their own injustices.  To teach others to stand up when someone is about to be treated wrongly.

Back a few years ago, I stood up to a man that was getting ready to hit an 80 year old woman in a grocery store.  I was with my cop boyfriend at the time, waiting to checkout.  This guy, in his 30s or 40s, decided to cut in front of the woman and acted like he had a right to do it when she protested.

He turned around and made like he was getting ready to punch her.  I got in front of her, pushed her behind me and told him that if he was going to hit someone, he was going to have to hit me.  He told me to get out of the way.  I answered, “NO!” 

At this point, the entire busy checkout area had gone silent.  Even the cashiers had stopped ringing up any items.  You could hear someone calling for security.  Another person was on their phone calling the police.

The man told me to get out of the way again.  His beef was with the old lady.  I told him he was going to have to go through me if he wanted to get to her.  By then, several others had pushed the little old lady towards the back of the store. 

He started to stare me down like if I didn’t get out of his way, he would kill me.  I looked back at him even more forcefully and I said, “NO!” again.  He would have to go through me.  That’s when someone came up behind me and said, “And me.”  Another person said, “Me too.”  10-15 more people joined in.  The guy looked around noticing that he was outnumbered.

I told him to take his things and check out.  Get the hell out of the store.  He tried to stare me down again before I gave him that one look that has been known to put the fear of God into anyone’s heart.  He backed off immediately and started to quickly have the lady ring his items up.

He spent the next five minutes trying to plead his case to me like he was the victim here, not the little old lady.  I stood next to him and put the old lady’s stuff on the conveyor belt and told him to shut up. 

People kept looking at the two of us like, she is going to kill him if he doesn’t back off.  He kept whimpering like he was the victim there…not the bully anymore.

He finally walked out of the store, but I knew he’d be waiting for the little old lady, so we helped her get her things together, packed up her groceries, put it back in her cart for her, and then walked out with her. 

Like I knew he would…he was sitting there waiting for her.  By then, the guy noticed that my boyfriend was an off-duty cop (he had his jacket on over his uniform).  He went up to him and tried to plead his case that he was the innocent one, not the old lady.  I took one look at the guy like I was about to set him on fire with one look, and he exclaimed, “You’re crazy!”  He jumped on his bike and pedaled out of the lot like a bat out of hell. 

Two patrolmen pulled up a minute later, while we were trying to hail a cab for the old lady.  They saw my boyfriend and asked what had happened.  He relayed the story onto them, looked at me and then laughed.  He said, “One thing’s for sure, never piss this lady off.  She’ll put the fear of God into you.” 

The cops went in to do their routine investigation of the matter.  In the meantime, we had loaded the groceries into a cab for the lady, I even paid for her cab ride home.  We put her in the car and then headed to our car. 

As we were pulling out, one of the cops waved us down.  He came over to my window and said, “I have to shake your hand.  What you did in there…I wish there were more people like you out there.”  He told us that everyone that saw what happened told them that girl stood up to that guy and scared the hell out of him. 

Apparently, that’s just my character.  It’s what I do.  My boyfriend laughed as we drove off.  He said, “I am never going to piss you off again.  Whoo wee…did you scare the hell out of that guy!”‘

He then said he now understood what my brother was talking about…never piss his sister off because by some act of God, you or someone you know that is close to you will die.  That is…depending on the degree of how mad I am.  He said he thought my brother was joking about the ‘act of God.’  But until he saw the ‘putting the fear of God’ into another man just by looking at him…he said, he would never piss me off again.

In each lifetime, I have been this kind of person…always protecting the weak…shouldering the responsibility.  I think in this lifetime, the body has had enough.  So from here on out, I think it’s time I let the weight of the world fall off of me.  I think that’s why I want to sit in the Sahara so much right now…so I can just be free of the weight of the world I’ve been carrying.  I just want to be free and stand on my own again.  The only way I can do that is to stop shouldering all of the work on my own.  I need to finally learn to enlist help from here on out in all walks of life.  My body can’t take on anymore. 

That’s what the universe has been telling me…that it’s okay to take help from others, especially when you don’t ask for it. 

But before I do that, I did some research into what the real facts are behind attendance numbers…in other words, the reality of the NHL situation overall.

There are only 4 teams in the entire league that can boast 100%+ sellouts at home and on the road.  They are the Chicago Blackhawks, New York Rangers, Philadelphia Flyers and the Pittsburgh Penguins.

While most teams do better on the road, only one team really stood out as a struggling franchise.  It was the Dallas Stars.  Their overall attendance (both on the road and at home) was 78.4%.  At home, they were the second worst team in the league with only 70.8% attendance.  The only other team that had a tough time selling tickets at home that were worse off than Dallas was…you guessed it, the Phoenix Coyotes with 67.7%. 

Who comes in right after Dallas in better than the worst?  The New York Islanders with only 78.3%.

As for the Devils, they’re 24th in the league in attendance with 85.8%.  But before you start laughing…only 16 teams in the league can boast regular sellouts.  That means that 14 teams can’t sellout their games on a regular basis.

Also of interest, the teams that get hit the hardest with low attendance numbers that aren’t from the Southwest, usually come from another dynamic.  For cities boasting more than one NHL franchise, one team rakes it in, while the other team(s) boast some of the lowest attendance percentages in the entire league.  That would include the Anaheim Ducks, New Jersey Devils and New York Islanders.  The New York Rangers and the LA Kings are at 99.9% capacity (rounding up it would be 100%).  The Anaheim Ducks are 24th in the league in attendance, followed by the Devils (25th) and the Islanders (28th).

Do you see the patterns here?  Hockey attendance suffers for teams in the southwest states and in cities boasting more than one club.  One team gets all the fans, while the other team(s) have to fight for the scraps.

There is also another issue I want to point out which is why I started this post.  It’s about community.  Many hockey writers leave their fan card at the entrance door the second they take the job to be a hockey writer.  Being a fan of hockey is more important than being a fan of a team.  Why?  Because you’ll see the importance of hockey and everything that goes into it from a different light. 

When hockey clubs are forced to leave their market and fan base, people always say, “Oh, how sad!”  “What a shame.”  “It’s a bad day for hockey.” 

But those things could be prevented. 

You’ll often find that there are ownership issues with struggling clubs…or even issues with the cities they’re in.  Fan bases that do well, like Chicago, Boston and Buffalo, have a lot to do with how much their community backs up their hockey club.  When there are issues abounding locally with the city governments…the club, itself, suffers.  News reports on these issues hit the papers and next thing you know, the fans start to taper off. 

Newark and Uniondale are prime examples of cities not working well with their hockey clubs.  Uniondale’s issues are much greater than Newark’s.  Newark just has issues with the money factor, because the city itself is broke. 

The odd thing is that these cities need those hockey clubs in order to grow.  Glendale needs the success of the Coyotes in order to build up their community.  Newark needs the Devils in order to clean up the city and give it a second chance at becoming a greater city.  They need these teams in order for their cities to grow.

But teams can’t grow if the community is not behind them. 

Before I started writing about hockey, I went to a lot of Devils games.  I didn’t go because I was a Devils fan.  I went because they were cheaper than Madison Square Garden.  I could sit down by the ice and watch the Penguins or the Rangers when they played in the Devils’ arena.  I could watch Ryan Miller or the Chicago Blackhawks.  It was cheaper for me to see the other teams in the NHL at Continental or Prudential.  Madison Square Garden was $200+ for each pop. 

I wasn’t there to see the Devils play.  I was there to see two hockey teams play.  I rarely cheer unless Jaromir Jagr scores a goal.  All other times, I was studying the game as if it were a science. 

I got to watch superstars from all over the NHL make their way into Devils’ territory and I paid little money to watch them.  Sometimes I headed up to the $10 seats, just because I wanted to see a hockey game, and not study it. 

$10 seats at MSG?  I don’t think so.  But they did give me free tickets to lacrosse games thanks to the thousands of dollars I put into their hands every season both on and off game time (aka Rangers’ charities).

I never saw the Devils win a Cup.  I never saw the Rangers win a Cup.  That was all before my time in hockey.  What I did see were legends.  I saw incredible moments that still make my mouth drop in awe.  It was about the love of the game.

These days, I travel all over the world to watch hockey.  Watching young guys that couldn’t make it into the NHL and ended up playing overseas are my favorite.  They actually have fun doing what they’re doing.  Even the guys in the AHL are fun to watch.  I remember watching the way that Brandon Dubinsky and Ryan Callahan used to dominate the ice in the AHL.  They weren’t playing in hopes that someone would notice them…they were playing just for the fun and love of the game.

There are fans that I’ve met at these games that come from all over.  They can’t afford the NHL ticket prices or they can’t make it all the way to the nearest NHL city to watch a game, so they go to the local teams and the minor league games.  These fans are passionate about their local teams…and the game of hockey.  After all, this is where hockey is born.  These places are the grassroots of hockey.

Hockey is very much a part of the community in these places.  Where you see a hockey team, that’s a team that’s become embedded within that community.  It’s not just a city that’s invested in a hockey team, it’s a hockey team that has become a part of a greater community as a whole.  When one leg of that community fails, everyone fails.

This isn’t just about hockey.  It’s about investing in the community where you live.  It’s about helping hockey teams grow that will help turn a bleak city into a prosperous one.  It’s about giving the kids around you an opportunity to dream big.  It’s about making the dream of an entire village come to fruition.  Just as much as a hockey team needs to win to make the Stanley Cup playoffs, so too does their win effect the community around them.  Winning = a booming and prosperous community.  Local businesses prosper.  The city prospers.  The fans prosper.

Some of my greatest moments in hockey have always involved the markets off the beaten path.  When the Rangers and Panthers headed to Puerto Rico, so did I.  The defining moment wasn’t the game itself…it was watching the birth of the new, young hockey fans sitting in front of me.  Watching these kids see their first hockey game for the first time in their life was an experience you never forget.  You see it in their eyes…  You see the exact moment when they’ve fallen in love with hockey.

In Puerto Rico, everyone cheered for both teams.  They didn’t pick a team to be a fan of for the night.  They were there just for the game of hockey.  This was the community of San Juan going to a hockey game because they had never seen a game before in their entire life.

It wasn’t about how the arena wasn’t sold out or how many empty seats were all around.  It was about growing hockey in the minds, hearts and souls of a new demographic.  Those are the moments you remember.

Fans, we’re in this for the hockey.  We are fans because we love hockey.  Fan loyalties can sway one way or another.  Some club you hate may acquire a player you love (take for instance my love affair with the Philadelphia Flyers this season…I vomited when I heard Jagr signed there).  Next thing you know, you know more about that team you hate than you do your own home team. 

You may visit an arena where you meet a whole new fan base that’s so great, you can’t help but become fond of that team.  The San Jose Sharks, Montreal Canadiens and Carolina Hurricanes will always hold a soft spot in my heart because of the experiences I’ve had with their fans at their home arena. 

This is about the love of the game.  It’s about growing hockey.  It’s about investing in this sport every which way that you can.  When one club fails, we, as hockey fans could have helped.  We could have supported the team when they were down.  We could have bought tickets and took the kids. 

Even in the NY area markets, people complain so much about spending money for MSG prices, but still…it sells out.  You could have gone to Prudential Center or Nassau Coliseum and snatched up a much cheaper ticket.  The Rangers visit both arenas three times a piece…that’s six games you could head to that is still a fraction of the price for one ticket at MSG.  At these prices, you could probably afford to bring the whole family.

Personally, I’m a little excited for next hockey season.  While I’m still in America at the start of the season (barring a lockout), I’ll be able to sit downstairs and be a fan again…just a few more times before European hockey gets me.  For me, I don’t care who’s in front of me, but I know I’ll be investing in my community teams.  Why?  Because I believe in investing in the people that make my community thrive.  It takes a village…do your part.

Instead of complaining about how a club is failing, help them succeed.  Each time a club fails, the entire hockey community is effected.  There’s no better way to explain it beyond the memory of what happened in the KHL with Yaroslavl Lokomotiv.  It wasn’t the KHL that lost a hockey club.  It was the entire hockey community that lost a hockey club.  We were all effected by the loss. 

Moving forward, instead of bitching all of the time about how a team can’t sell its arena out…ask yourself why you didn’t do your part, as part of the greater hockey community, to help them sell out their arena.  Ask what you could do differently going forward to help the entire hockey community grow.  We can’t all go to three different hockey games in one night here in NYC, but you can still support the other teams. 

That’s why when I’m covering one game, you may see me tweet about another game.  Why?  Because I’m always watching more than one game at any given time.  And I always have one eye on that Flyers game, a team I hate, just to see if Jagr scored. 

{Attendance statistics SOURCE: ESPN}

Being back in a first world country where people put too much emphasis on things that don’t really matter…this is the same world that is so lost, they don’t know how to live…I knew that it would finally envelop me.

I decided to do what I always do when I start to feel like maybe I’m not making the right decision…I decided to take a moment and listen to what the universe was telling me.  I looked for any sign that could possibly be thrown my way, only to remind myself that I should not block off my entire life to just one dream…I had to be open to possibilities…including the impossible being made possible.

That’s when I noticed a book in the bookstore last week: “Aleph” by Paulo Coelho.  I should have known that Paulo would tell me what I already knew…after all, re-reading “The Alchemist” reminded me that I had found my own adventure in life in Morocco.

There comes a time, even in the most spiritual beings on earth, that we can become lost.  We stop hearing God talking to us.  We can’t connect with God the way that we used to.  We have trouble staying focused on the things that matter…like remaining positive and doing all of those good karmic actions. 

In essence, we become human once again, disconnected from our Father…not knowing if we want to go back to him.

We start to make the wrong decisions.  We distance ourselves from the good things in life and start focusing on the drama of the world.  We let bad stuff get to us and bother us.  We judge others.  We become a part of this dying world…not knowing if we want to be saved from the whirlpool that is spiraling us out of control and dragging us down to the bottom of the ocean.  We don’t know if we want to be saved or helped out of the water and into calmer seas. 

Yep…even the best of us who are so connected with God feels this way sometimes.  Surprise, surprise…what I’m feeling now, that is Coelho’s latest book.  It’s about being stuck in that moment of routines and disconnectedness from God.  It’s about feeling like you don’t have the answers…or maybe everything you believe to be true is all a piece of crap. 

Maybe it was all just a momentary happiness…a moment where we dipped into the pool of magic and made the impossible a reality.  What if it doesn’t last? 

What if I’m making a mistake changing my life?  This is where fear settles in.

You start to think of the dreams you had all throughout your life, trying to find some meaning in it all.  There are those strong predictions that happened…and you’re left thinking…’what does it all mean?’ 

You see that one dream is unfolding, while another is also unfolding…and the two are very different from each other.  It’s as if I’m stuck at a crossroads trying to decide which path would be the best path for me.  This is where I kick myself for keeping my options open in life.

Then there’s the Aleph.  Have you ever met someone in this lifetime that you remember from previous lifetimes?  I have.

I think we both sensed it the first time we saw each other.  It was as if a magnet was pulling us to each other, but we had to keep backing away from it.  People around us always sensed the pull.  They saw it.  It was too powerful to say it didn’t exist.

You start to think ‘why?’  Why show that person now?  It wasn’t meant to be in this lifetime.  Why show that person now? 

Remembering the laughter from lifetimes ago, being able to still taste the first kiss, to remembering moments from a long time ago…worlds away from you both now…you both start to realize how you were both in love before this lifetime.  The souls remember.  They don’t forget.  It’s because the souls remember, it creates conflict in the present.

Yet, it is in this lifetime that you remember…that amazing love was not meant to be in this lifetime…but you do remember how powerful it once was.

Going down one road, you see the dreams you made into reality.  You see the world you’ve been dreaming about for years.  It’s like you can put your hand through that veil separating reality from dreams and push it to the side to make it real. 

It’s setting foot on the city’s cobblestones and feeling like you are home once again, in a land you’ve never been to before.  It’s falling in love with the city, the people and the country that you feel that you are destined to live there and be happy for the rest of your life.  It’s as if you are living in that dream, preparing for that day that this really will be your home.

It’s no coincidence you felt that there…or even the fact you wound up visiting the place not just once, but three times.  That is the reality of that dream.

Did your soul dance with his?  Yes, it did.  And then you let him go…  Yet, he eventually came back.

 Then you remember the dreams of living in a riad in Morocco, watching the sun setting over the mountains while you sat on the rooftop of your home, enjoying dinner with your family.  It was pure happiness.

Then there’s that life that you live in New York City as a hockey writer.  You enjoy that world of arts, literature, and fashion.  You actually really enjoy that life New York City has offered to you.  Why give up a life that you love?

Which adventure do you choose?

You listen to your heart.

Today, the adventure has already begun.  It’s not towards love or romance.  My journey is taking me towards the passions of life…as in the things in life that I am passionate about.

At the same time, I have to remind myself not to lose sense of myself.  I don’t have to lose everything to become someone new.  I just have to take with me the things that have defined me since 2007.  I planted the seed and buried the roots deep so that when I finally emerged from the soil, I could branch out in every which direction I could.  Before I could do that, I had to build a solid foundation deep within myself.

Miracles do not happen overnight…neither do dreams.  Dreams change.  One minute you could be an astronaut.  The next day you could be President of the United States.  The next day, you could be a famous writer.  Life is meant to make every dream you can dream come true.

Over this three-day weekend, I had a lot of time to think about the crossroads and the journeys ahead.  One road leads to Africa.  The other road leads to Europe.  Then there’s always the option of staying right where I am.

For once, I didn’t think about those roads.  I just thought about what I wanted in this very moment.  I chose happiness.

I saw my office coming into being.  What I once thought was a doomed project from the get go all of a sudden became a realistic idea taking shape before my very eyes.  The big pile of crap all of a sudden became a small pile that is easily conquerable.

I realized that even in moments when we try to refill our karmic baskets, we start off small so that we do not become overwhelmed, only to find that later when the bigger karmic actions appear, we will have no fear and aim to tackle that action one small deed at a time.

I started to notice that the things I did over the weekend while I was listening to the universe all ended up showing me that I am making a dream into a reality…and they didn’t involve love, marriage, family or children.

It involved the gifts God had given to me. I spent a lot of time organizing my new dream from its new headquarters.  I spent hours on the computer uploading photos and preparing them for delivery for each project.  I created gifts and really started to imagine making a lot of new projects into a reality…and then I pressed CHECKOUT.

Someday projects became NOW projects. 

Someday I’ll try and go vegan…became countless hours in the kitchen trying out all new vegetarian recipes. 

While I was in the Library, I decided to check out a vegetarian cookbook and a bunch of Martha Stewart Living and Better Homes & Gardens magazines.  The librarian took one look at a potpie on the cover of Martha Stewart Living and said, “You must be a really good cook.”  I smiled and said, “I like a challenge.” 

You’ll be amazed at all of the different meals I constructed for the first time.  A homemade vegetarian tortilla soup is now at the top of my favorite winter soups…and I’d never made that before.  Pickled eggs?  Never tried it before…took one bite and it was heavenly!  Kale salad?  Never knew you could eat kale raw.  Not only did I try that, but I made my own salad dressing for the first time…and that salad became a WOW factor.  Most importantly, it will help boost my immune system during the cold/flu season.

In other words, cooking, re-decorating, working on the photos, reading, writing, etc. these are the things that make me happy.  They are the things that complete my NOW.  It’s putting the present into action for the future.  It’s building the foundation you need for whatever is coming in the future.

This blog changed because I wanted it to become a lifestyle blog that talks about everything that I’m learning, loving and experiencing.  It’s about sharing that world of happiness with others.

I didn’t spend this weekend thinking about whether I would head to Morocco or head to Europe.  I thought about what I wanted to do now that would bring me happiness.  The only thing I wanted to do was to put the new dream into play…but at the same time, I had to remind myself, don’t lose what you love already.  That means, I’m going to continue to write.

Last month, the universe started veering me in a new direction in writing.  That’s why the blog changed.  I started to meet people in the fashion industry.  I started to notice that talking about celebrities (non-hockey players) and photographing them, netted more interest on this site than hockey. 

The universe was showing me all along what the new path was…I just had to embrace it a little more.

I was telling someone recently that I wasn’t looking for love when I went to Morocco.  All I knew was that God wanted to show me something in Morocco and that’s why I went.  I know what I found there…an ending to my book (and ironically, the next story I’m writing).  God showed me a lot of things all throughout the country. 

But right when you have no idea what it was you were looking for, that’s when it hits.  Love will strike when you least expect it.  In “Aleph,” Coelho talks about how sometimes when you are searching for someone, you don’t realize that they’ve been searching for you, too.  Rumi once said that ever since he heard his first love story, he went searching for his love, only to realize how silly that was.  Lovers are in each other always. 

It’s like when you find the person you are meant to love, it seems so silly that you were looking for the other person, because you were in each other all along.  Your love was never lost or found.  They were always there inside of you.

Today, I’ve spent many moments in my mind, sitting at the top of a sand dune, watching the stars above me, telling Hamid, “Did you know that when you wish on a falling star, your wish is supposed to come true?”  To which he responds, “Really?” 

He then started to look frantically all over the sky for a shooting star, wanting to make a wish from his heart…not realizing he didn’t have to make that wish because it already came true.  But while his head was turned the other way, I saw a star shoot across the sky.  I exclaimed, “Oh!  I just saw one!”  He turned in the direction I was pointing only to be disappointed he didn’t get to see it, too. 

I realized that God did that for a reason.  The shooting star was a sign to me that a dream had come true.  I didn’t have to make anymore wishes.

Now, I sit here and think…was that just a dream?

If it was, it would make one hell of a story.

But the truth is, it is my story…and it’s been one hell of an amazing ride. 

So why do I doubt?  Why am I scared that I am changing everything I know for a world that is completely different than my own?  What if I was never supposed to leave NYC? 

What if…How am I…What am I…doesn’t matter anymore.

What matters is that I am focused on right now and all the days I have to live before the future arrives.  There are certain actions I have to put in place today, not tomorrow, in order to plant the seeds and build a strong foundation so that I can shoot up from the ground and branch out in every which direction.  That is the tree of life.  You can plant your roots deeply so that nothing can blow you over. 

If one branch falls, you still have many more that survive.  Even when a storm barrels through, if you are strong deep down to the core, no amount of bad weather can take you down. 

When the seasons change, you change as well.  Life is all about the changing of the seasons and how you can shed one life for a new one just by shedding your leaves in the winter, and budding new leaves in the spring.  It’s about living through the changes life has to offer and embracing it.

You always want to share the beauty of growth in life by making yourself beautiful through to your very core, because no one likes to bask in the beauty of a diseased and dying tree, that is rotted through to the core.  People enjoy the beauty of seeing a healthy tree thriving in the garden of life.

As you see the world change, you, too, must change as well.  A tree evolves when the world evolves.  Just as it changes according to the seasons, so too must your dreams.  For me, that means in business…when you see that one branch is falling, you must focus on the other branches of your life, because once that branch has fallen, it means nothing to the tree anymore.  What matters is what is left.

What’s left after doubt?  The now.  Doubt is about the future.  Right now, the heart and soul are in agreement…what I am doing right now is right for me.  My focus has to be on my happiness and the changes that must happen in order to bring enlightenment to the world.  Like bringing schools to children in Morocco…forcing bans on things that harm the world (like plastic bags that don’t break down and avoidable waste).

Each change begins here.  It begins in every single one of us.  When you start doing random acts of kindness, it is like doing a little bit here and there every single day…it starts to build where you do more and more as you see progress…and then you start to work on bigger projects, knowing how to tackle each action one little act at a time (because you know that everything takes time, it doesn’t always have to happen right now, it takes effort in the right direction to make a dream a reality). 

That goes for all walks of life, including diet and exercise.  Just committing to doing the act a little at a time works its way into something called PROGRESS.  After all, we all know, you can’t lose 100 pounds in 24 hours.  It takes one small step in the right direction.  You keep doing a little bit here and there until it starts to become a bigger bit here and there…and then one day you’ll see yourself taking shape.

So whatever the focus is…it should always be about the now and taking that right step in the right direction.  I’ll worry about what road that is later on…maybe I’ll just follow my own road and if one of the other two roads ends up veering into mine along the way and it becomes one big interstate, then we have a winner!  Until then, I’m just going to focus on the new road being paved ahead just for me.

Lesson #2 in 2012…you don’t have to do a huge task all at once.  Just do a little at a time each and every day.

Lesson #3 in 2012…what are you doing now?  What is happening NOW is more important than what’s happening tomorrow.  Tomorrow is a dream not yet realized.  Right now, that is the moment you are living.  How do you choose to live it?  Do you choose to live dreaming about a different life?  Or do you choose to live the life you know you were meant to live.  Live in that dream NOW.

Re: Lesson #1 … Life can start to get really boring when you fall into a routine.  You start to lose a sense of yourself when you fall into routine.  You start to really get bored with life doing the same exact thing day in and day out.  You start to really hate your life when it becomes routine.

So shake things up a little bit. 

* Instead of reaching for the same exact items at the grocery store, pick up something exotic and different.  Try a kale salad instead of a romaine salad.  Try the olives from the olive bar, instead of buying them from a jar. 

* Take a different route to work.  Explore places you never knew were there before.  Who knows?  You might find a cute little bakery or coffee shop you never knew was there.

* Take a class.  Join a reading group.  Do something extraordinary with other people.  Learn something new and something different.

Re: Lesson #2 … Just because that huge pile isn’t getting any smaller, it doesn’t mean you should feel defeated before you even start.  The first obstacle is always getting started.

Instead of sighing and giving up before you even start, tackle the first mountain by saying to yourself that all you need to do is a little for now.  Just do a little here and there.  Keep reminding yourself that you’re going to do a little bit here and there each and every single day.

Soon, you’ll find that you are starting to accomplish something one day at a time, knowing that it doesn’t have to all be done at this very second.  You know that in time, it will be done.  You’ll find that as time goes along, you’ll devote more time and more energy to the project…when it starts to not look so overwhelming anymore.

As things come together, you’ll start to smile a little more, because you realize that you put a lot of work into it, and you didn’t let it overwhelm you.  You appreciate what you’ve done even more when you don’t start the project with negative feelings. 

By keeping your focus positive all throughout the task, you’ll find that all of that positive energy you put into it…makes you feel more wonderful about it when the project is completed.

Re: Lesson #3 … There are many people that don’t realize that life is going on RIGHT NOW, not tomorrow.  People get excited about things that will happen in the future, but forget that they could get excited about what’s happening right now. 

You can make plans for the future, but you should never forget that the most important time is now.  We live in this time, not in tomorrow’s time.  Eventually tomorrow becomes now.  But between now and then, there are plenty of days to live before then.

Mankind’s biggest mistake in life…is not living in this very moment.  Don’t let your life pass you by dreaming about a different life.  You could live that life now if you took the steps to make those dreams come true.

For those who know me…they know that I love Bauble Bar.  Thanks to their Buried Bauble Fridays, I’ve been able to amass a pretty large collection of baubles from my favorite jeweler.  Each Friday, somewhere on their site, they have a bauble for just $10. 

But if you want to get in on the Buried Bauble action from here on out…you need a clue!  Well, the only way you can get that clue now is if you’re on the Buried Bauble email list.  Only those on the email list are allowed to buy the Buried Bauble.  So if you’re not on it…you’re missing out on some great jewelry for a great price. 

How do you get on the email list?  CLICK HERE!

After you sign up, they’ll send you a referral code to send to all of your girlfriends so that they can get in on the Buried Bauble action. 

[Picture from BaubleBar.com, showcasing the Versaille Dye Glam Necklace from the Erickson Beamon + Bauble Bar collection.]

In other words, I’ve been setting up my new business. 

Since I have thousands of photos in the wings ready to be turned into buyable pieces of artwork for the home, it means finding the right photo printing companies, researching DIY tricks of the trade in creating canvas art, and finding companies that will supply the frames and all the mod podge that I need.

So what suppliers have I found to create this piece into a canvas for little money?

For the 16×20 print of the photo above, I went to Snapfish. Why? Because they’ve sent superior products to me, capturing the essence exactly how I saw it…and in some cases…exactly how I created it.  It’s cheaper for me to go with a place like Snapfish to mass produce my photos, because there are times I’ll get the photo for a penny a piece.  That’s cheaper than printing the photo at home.

Shopping around for canvases, School Specialty has offered some great prices on pre-stretched canvases.

For the Mod Podge…people complain it’s so expensive!  Well, Ben Franklin.com offered me the lowest prices around.  I remember the store from when I was a kid, so it’s nice to see that they’re still around kicking in the digital age. 

As for the decorative paper (i.e. the surprise of the canvas), I decided to go with Paper Source.  They offered some of the most colorful and the most beautiful pieces around.  This is actually the splurge to upscale the canvas.  The paper is so delicate, it actually will add to the element of the canvas.

When I finish up the new office, you’ll get a sneak peek at some of the work that will be available for purchase.  This is just one arm of the business.  There are more arms…but for now…there’s a canvas in the works.